


Bending Backwards 'till I'm Broke

by PeterDrunklage



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Hurt Steve Harrington, I'm still learning to tag, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Major injuries to a main character, Panic Attacks, Steve Harrington Angst, Steve Harrington Needs a Hug, Steve Harrington Whump, Steve Harrington has low self esteem, like the worst, steve has bad parents
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-15
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2020-06-29 05:52:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 19,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19823875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeterDrunklage/pseuds/PeterDrunklage
Summary: "Steve, I need to know if you're ok.” Flo tried. Hopper was already running out, Callahan and Powell on his heels. Shock settled over Flo as she continued to call Steve’s name. She rather hysterically thought that Hopper could move pretty fast for a big guy.





	1. The Happening

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is my 1st Stranger Things fanfic and I'm still figuring out AO3, I hope it's ok. I hope you like it.

Very little happened in Hawkins, the biggest scandal they ever had was when Will Byers went missing, died, then came back to life. Before that it was the repeated disappearance of Mr. Langston’s garden gnomes. Nothing happened in the sleepy little town and people liked it that way. It was a little after 9pm on a Friday that Flo received a call that was going to rock the small town again.

“Hawkins Police, this is Flo.”

“Help me, please” the voice on the other end whispered, tearful, and pained. 

“Ok honey, can you tell me your name and what happened?” 

“Steve. He killed my mom.” 

“Steve, as in Steve Harrington?” She asked surprised. “Who killed your mom?” Suddenly Hopper was at her elbow. 

“Yes. My dad. He shot my mom.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,” that was a sob. “He didn't think I was home, but I saw everything. I managed to drag myself to the phone. Please send help.” Flo felt like her stomach bottomed out. 

“Ok honey, are you hurt? I'm sending the chief right now, can you stay on the line with me?”

“I- yes. Oh shit he knows I'm not dead.” 

“What does that-” but Flo never got to finish as there was a garbled argument and several pained noises before three gunshots cracked across the line. Flo was trained to remain calm, but she was pretty sure she screamed his name. She quickly tried to calm herself and tried to get someone to respond to her calling their name. She was met with gagging then silence. 

“Steve, I need to know if you're ok.” She tried. Hopper was already running out, Callahan and Powell on his heels. Shock settled over Flo as she continued to call Steve’s name. She rather hysterically thought that Hopper could move pretty fast for a big guy.

~~~

Hopper isn't sure how he'd managed to gun his jeep to the speed he did, but he made it to the Harrington home in record time. He's out of the car and kicking the door down before Callahan and Powell can make it out. He stumbled into a nightmare. He hears when the other two arrive. It's silent for a few moments before both officers are back outside.

Callahan was vomiting in the bushes. Powell was sitting on the steps his head between his knees and groaning. Hopper wanted to join him. Things like this weren't supposed to happen in Hawkins. The Harrington home was a massacre. Joanna Harrington was found in the kitchen, blood splatter on the refrigerator from where she'd been shot in the head.

Steve and Franklin Harrington had been found in a hallway and the entrance to a room. Franklin shot himself in the head, the coward. Hopper dropped to his knees next to the teenager he'd grown to like. Steve had been beat to shit before two bullets found their way into him. 

There was a streak of blood where Hopper guessed Steve dragged himself to the phone. Said phone was still in Steve's hand. Hopper brought a shaking hand to Steve’s neck, and felt a lump grow in his own throat. It was weak, it was thready, but there was a pulse. Miraculously, he was still alive. Thankfully, Flo had the sense to get an ambulance there too, he could hear the sirens and Powell’s shaky voice. He moves only when a pair of insistent hands pull at him.

“Chief, we need you to move.” He looked up into the teary eyes of Claudia Henderson. He slid away and watched as Claudia and her partner desperately tried to stem the blood flow.

“Steve sweetheart, it's Claudia Henderson, can you squeeze my hand?” Hopper noticed when the movement became more frantic. 

“We need to move this kid now, Claudia, we're losing him!” 

There's a flurry of movement, and Steve's gone. Hopper remains on his knees looking at the large puddle of blood that Steve had been laying in. He stands, makes sure Callahan and Powell have pulled it together enough to continue. Then made his way to the hospital.

~~~

A doctor arrived shortly after Hopper had stopped pacing and slumped bonelessly in one of the hard plastic chairs.

“Joanna was dead on arrival, single gunshot wound to the head. Franklin was also dead on arrival a single self-inflicted wound.” The doctor began.

“Steve?” 

“Still in surgery. Joanna’s death was fast, she probably didn't have much time to process what was happening and she wasn't in pain long. The sheer amount of injury inflicted to Steven seems to implicate that at the very least, Franklin Harrington strongly resented his son.”

“What's the damage?”

“One bullet shattered his femur. The second bullet entered his chest, near his collarbone and fractured. Then there's beating he has taken. His left orbital bone is broken as his nose and his jaws fractured at best. Concussion, Broken ribs, damage to his kidney and spleen, it's a miracle he was able to call for help at all.”

“Will he survive?”

“I don't like giving people false hope. If he survives the next twenty four hours, we might have a small chance, but I wouldn't get my hopes up chief. I'm terribly sorry, I heard he was really turning his life around too.”

Hopper vaguely heard a nurse call his name, before he stumbled over to the trash can and threw up.


	2. Finding Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The kids find out what happened and Hopper and Claudia Henderson sit in the hospital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank everyone so much for the Kudos! Ok, here's chapter 2, I'm not sure how long this fic will be exactly, but I hope you continue to enjoy it.

Joyce Byers answered the phone on the third ring at 10 in the morning on Saturday. She pressed a hand against her ear to drown out the sound of excited children.

“Hello?”

“Joyce.” She knew that tone of voice and she immediately sat down.

“What happened?”

“Are the boys with you?” 

“Yes, Max is too, what happened?”

“Keep them there, I'll be there soon.” Joyce was listening to a dial tone before she had the chance to question him again. She stood shakily and entered the living room.

“Kids.” She said managing to catch their attention. “Hopper will be here soon, he needs to talk to you.” 

“Is everything ok?” Will asked and Joyce tried to smile.

“He wouldn't say.” 

The kids became unsettled at that and soon Jonathan and Nancy were also waiting for him. When Hopper arrived, Joyce immediately zoned in on the blood on his uniform. Mike noticed it too.

“Are you ok?” Mike asked in alarm. Hopper ignored him and shifted in obvious discomfort.

“Listen, the news is going to break the story tonight, but I wanted to tell you first.” He took a deep breath before continuing. “We got an emergency call from Steve last night.” Several of the kids physically jolted.

“Is that why my mom was so upset this morning?” Dustin asked.

“Probably. He told us his dad had killed his mom. While Flo had him on the phone we heard three more shots.”

“Are you trying to tell us that Steve’s, that Steve's--?” Nancy asked tearfully.

“Not currently, “ Hopper cut her off before the word escaped her mouth.

“What happened to him?” Will asked tentatively.

“It looks like his dad attempted to beat him to death, but at some point Steve managed to drag himself to the phone. His father then shot him twice. They aren't hopeful he's going to make it.”

It was dead silent for a few seconds before Dustin explodes out of his seat and runs towards the door. Hopper grabbed him, as he struggled briefly.

“Let me go, he's alone, Hop, he's alone! He shouldn't be alone!” Dustin struggled before breaking down in tears. Joyce moved to console him, but Hopper shook his head and wrapped his arms around him.

“They wouldn't let you see him,” Hopper said gently. “He was going in for another surgery when I left.”

“He-he said his dad was an asshole, but I never thought he meant he thought he might hurt him.” Nancy cried into her hands, Jonathan wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

“Have you arrested his dad?” Mike asked angrily and his lips thinned into a straight line when Hopper shook his head.

“Can't arrest a dead man. Coward shot himself after he murdered his wife and tried to murder his kid.” Dustin breaks even more at this news. Max stood up and gently tugged at Dustin until he buried his head in her shoulder. Hopper released him to her and Lucas and Will swarmed them. Mike sat frozen on the couch.

“Will they allow visitors later?” Jonathan asked, his face carefully neutral.

“I don't know. I'm going home, break the news to the kid, change and go back. Can I bring her here?”

“Absolutely.” Joyce replied. 

“I'll call when I find anything out.” Hopper heads home trying to figure out how to break it to a kid with powers.

~~~

It didn't go well.

Eleven had wanted to do something, but there was nothing she could do at this point. She had cried and slammed doors, then finally accepted that she'd be going to the Byer’s. Hopper dropped her off and returned to the hospital. He found Claudia sitting in the waiting room. 

“I didn't want Steve to be alone.” She said quietly and Hopper nodded in agreement as he sank into the seat next to her.

“I broke the news to the kids. I didn't want them to hear about it on the news. They aren't taking it very well.” Hopper told her.

“I'm not surprised. Dustin adores Steve, he always wanted a big brother and Steve fills that role for him. He's remarkably good with kids.” 

“I've noticed, your kid tried to storm the hospital.” Hopper replied, and a smile ghosted across Claudia’s face. “Has he ever mentioned any other family?”

“No, from what I gathered the poor boy was alone more than he wasn't.” 

“I'm going to be digging into this, I'm not sure how things were run before, but I’m having a hard time swallowing that this level of violence popped up out of nowhere.”

“There was some faint scarring, if I had to guess from years ago.” Claudia told him.

“Thank you, I'll look into that.” Hopper said. 

“Do you think he'll make it?” Claudia asked quietly.

“I hope so.” Hopper replied. “The doctor I spoke to said if he makes it twenty four hours, we might have a chance.” 

“Things like this aren’t supposed to happen in Hawkins.” Claudia said softly. 

“No, they’re not.” Hopper agreed. They say there in silence until a doctor reappeared.

Dr. Paul Jacobs had worked at the Hawkins hospital for two years, and he rarely saw anything truly bad. Sure when Carl Forse caught himself with his chainsaw it had been bloody and he'd lost a couple fingers. When Abigail Lawson was in a car wreck they fought to save her, but the sheer amount of damage done to this boy by his father that had shaken him some. 

“We aren't out of the woods.” He told them rubbing a hand over his face in exhaustion. “But he's improved a little. If he makes it through the night, we might have a real fighting chance.” 

“Can we see him?” Hopper asked. The doctor looked hesitant.

“Please Paul,” Claudia pleaded “we're all he has.” Paul softened at her pleading and sighed, he wasn't wholly surprised that Claudia would step in for the kid. He had gotten to know her somewhat over the past two years.

“Fine, but only for a few minutes.” 

“Thank you.” Hopper said relieved he wasn't going to have to make a scene.

~~~

Hopper, by sheer force of will, refused to acknowledge the flashbacks that wanted to overtake him. He needed to be present in the here and now, not lost in the tragedy he couldn't change.

The tube in Steve's throat and the sound of a machine breathing for him nearly made Hopper shudder. His face was nearly one big bruise and he was wrapped in white gauze. It was disturbing and Hopper had to look away.

“Oh, Steve” Claudia rasped, trying to force back tears. 

“Can he hear us?” Hopper asked, and Claudia shrugged.

“No one is completely sure, some say yes, others say no. Me personally? I'd like to think so.” 

“Hey kid, you hang in there ok? We've got you now, we've got you.” Hopper said awkwardly. They sat quietly for a few more minutes before they were made to leave.

“If he makes it through the night, I'll see about setting up something so people can sit with him.” Hopper said and Claudia nodded. 

“They train you not to get personally involved, but--”

“You know him, you're involved.” Hopper agreed. “Try and get some rest Claudia, Dustin will need you.”

~~~

The story broke during the 5pm news. Families all throughout Hawkins learned all about the horrible event.

In the Hargrove-Mayfield household a glass shattered in the kitchen as the glass fell from Billy Hargrove’s hand.


	3. Billy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Billy doesn't handle this well

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter. Billy was a lot harder than I originally thought he'd be, but here we are. I hope you like it and thank you so much for the comments and kudos!

"What the fuck is the matter with you, clean that up!” Neil yelled. Billy automatically moved to do so, but then Susan was peering at him curiously and she cleared her throat slightly.

“Do you know him?” She asked, pointing to the picture of Steve on the TV. Billy nodded, swallowing thickly as he swept up the broken glass.

“Yeah, we’re um, we’re in Basketball together.” Susan made a sympathetic noise in the back of her throat and Neil looked up from the TV again.

“Where’s your sister? She knows that kid doesn’t she?”

“You dropped her off at the Byers place earlier this morning.” Susan reminded him absently. “You told Billy to pick her up at six.”

“You better get going then.” Neil said with a wave of his hand, Billy dumped the broken glass in the trash, grabbed his keys and headed out the door without bothering to grab a jacket. It was chilly out, but he didn’t care, he was to wrapped up in his own thoughts to pay much attention to it.

It made sense to him now, how no matter what Billy did, Steve never seemed to hold a grudge. Billy wondered if Steve never retaliated because he picked up on the signs of his shitty home life. He’d never have guessed Steve’s family was fucked up like his, he was a much better actor. He had wondered for a while why Steve never pressed charges, but he now found himself wondering if Steve had even gotten treatment for his injuries or if he’d just suffered to avoid his parents finding out.

Something about that made something ice cold settle in the pit of his stomach and he gunned it towards the Byers home. Billy wasn’t dumb, he knew he was a special brand of asshole and maybe there was no redemption for him. He craved the attention he lacked at home, so he acted out stupidly at times. He had thought dethroning King Steve would be a good way to get the attention on him, but Steve just didn’t seem to care. If there was one thing Billy hated, it was being ignored, so he began to target Steve. 

He and Max had come to somewhat of an agreement after the “nail bat” incident, and while he wasn’t fanatical about her, he certainly didn’t want her to take any of Neil’s hits, especially considering he had a suspicion that Susan would simply let him. He wondered if Steve knew about that too, because Steve had been civil even borderline friendly to him when he had every reason to hate him.

Once he arrived, he took a soothing breathe, because the last thing anyone needed was for him to bring a hysterical Max home. He opened the door to his Camero and walked slowly to the front door. It was flung open before he could even knock.

“I need you to take me to the hospital.” Max demanded, her friends trailed behind her.

“No” He told her firmly. 

“But-”

“No, Max. The news said he’s in critical condition, that means they aren’t going to just let you waltz in there and sit around. If he’s in the ICU then they might not allow visitors at all since last I knew, mostly family was allowed in there and there's an age limit."

“We _are_ his family!” Dustin protested and Billy glanced at him.

“Look, call Hopper in the morning, he might be able to get you in, but there’s nothing I can do. Besides Susan and Neil want you home.” Something passed between the two and Max quickly hugged a couple of the kids before heading to her car.

“Bye.” She called behind her.

“Thanks for having her.” Billy said awkwardly to Joyce before heading to the car himself. The car ride home was silent and both went directly to their rooms once they arrived home. Neither parent bothered with them for the rest of the night.

~~~

Steve made it through the twenty-four hours. Dr. Jacobs had been encouraged, decided Steve had fight in him yet, and agreed to a few visitors. The kids hadn't been happy when they were told they were going to have to wait a while longer, they had put up one hell of a fight over it, but finally simmered when Hopper promised to allow them to visit just as soon as the hospital moved Steve out of the ICU. 

Joyce had been sitting with Steve when Billy stalled in the doorway. She watched as the young man froze. She had been told all about Billy Hargrove. She knew he'd been responsible for injuring Steve so severely, but Max had told her things were getting better between her and Billy.

“I'm sorry, I didn't realize anyone would be here.” Billy said awkwardly. “I can come back.”

“No, it's ok.” Joyce said trying to keep her voice neutral. “I'm just surprised to see you here, I didn't think you were friends.”

“We're not, but seeing as I'm old enough to get into the ICU and Max isn't, I'm here under threat and have strict orders to report back.” Joyce smiled slightly at that.

They lapsed into silence and Billy made his way over to the bed. Something shifted in Billy’s face and Joyce felt something heavy settle over her.

“Jesus Harrington.” Billy murmured as he slid up closer to the bed. Hie eyes swept over the damage he could see. “The news said his dad did this.”

“Yes,” Joyce hadn't actually watched the news broadcast so she wasn't sure what had been said, only what Hopper had told them. 

“Goddamn it.” Billy hissed.

“Why are you really here Billy?”

“I told you-” he trailed off at her look, concerned and gentle without judgment. “I get it Mrs. Byers. I'm an asshole, I hurt him, and I shouldn't be here.”

“Billy-” but Joyce doesn't get to finish because suddenly Billy is overwhelmed and he's angry, and he couldn't stop the words from falling out of his mouth.

“I'm no better than his piece of shit father, but I _want_ to be. Max wants us to be _friends._ ” his laugh sounded a little hysterical. “But, I'm an asshole and he's King Steve and I thought he was a spoiled rich boy and I _hated_ him because I thought he had everything. Now I find out I was wrong and that his life was a shit show and-”

“Billy!” Joyce was advancing on Billy like one might a wounded animal. “Billy, it's ok. It's ok to be overwhelmed with the situation, it's ok that you're here.”

But Billy was too deep in his head. He felt exposed and ridiculous and he needed to get out. He hurried from the room as Joyce called after him.


	4. Tension

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tensions run a little high among the party and Nancy and Jonathan go to visit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for such a wonderful response to this story!

Monday had been rough for everyone who knew Steve. School had been weird. Most kids at the middle school didn't know that the party were friends with Steve, but the event itself was so horrific that it had shaken a good population of the town and a counselor had been brought in. 

The high school, however, was somber. Most of them at least knew who Steve was and a heaviness was in the hallways as students talked quietly amongst themselves.

“King Steve is no more, may Billy-.” Tommy let out a grunt of surprise when Billy interrupted him by slamming him up against the lockers.

“You think that’s funny?” Tina demanded, hands on her hips glaring at Tommy.

“We might not be friends anymore, but we were once. Jesus Tommy, Steve could die, don't you care at all?” Carol asked looking horrified. Billy released Tommy from his hold and pushed him away, Tommy glared at them.

“Get out of my face with that shit.” Billy snarled stalking down the hallway, students scattering as he went. Carol walked off with Tina, leaving Tommy red faced and alone. 

Nancy had seen the whole display and watched Billy stalk off. She knew he'd gone to see Steve, but she couldn't figure out why. She waited until an opportunity presented itself, then she cornered Billy before lunch was about to start at his locker.

“Jonathan said you went to see Steve.” Billy stiffened and looked down at her.

“So?” He asked trying to sound uninterested.

“Why? You aren't friends, you nearly killed him, so I can't think of any logical reason-” She cut off when Billy slammed his locker shut.

“Because Maxine cares about him and she couldn't get in, but I could. I owed her a favor.” Billy replied.

“I don't believe you.”

“I don't care.” Billy turned to leave when Nancy stopped him.

“Wait. Was it, was it bad?” Nancy asked timidly. 

“Yes.” He shouldered past without giving her a chance to question him any further. Jonathan came up to her then, and she buried her face in his chest.

~~~

After school they reconvened, and Max frowned as Billy went immediately to the Camaro, but did not leave, waiting for her. Dustin fidgeted beside Max for a few moments.

“You said Billy went yesterday?” Lucas asked and Max nodded solemnly.

“He said it was bad, and that we shouldn't see him like that.” 

“Why would Billy even go to see Steve?” Will asked curiously.

“I asked him too.” At the disbelieving looks she got, she shrugged awkwardly. “He's been better at home, and I’ve been trying to work towards them being friends. I thought if they could become friends Steve would be good for him, but whatever Billy saw, it bothered him.”

“Don't know how to break this to you, but the guy who gave Steve a concussion and nearly beat him to death probably isn't the number one choice in friends.” Mike said sarcastically.

“Is it possible for you to go a single day without being an asshole?” Max snapped and Mike was taken aback. “I get it, you don't like me, well guess what? I don't really like you either. And since I wasn't actually talking to you in the first place, do us all a favor and shut the hell up!” With that Max stormed off to the camaro. Billy and she conversed for a moment before Billy gave an annoyed glance out their way before peeling out of the parking lot. 

“What was that about?” Mike demanded.

“You were rude to her. There were plenty of ways to state that without being sarcastic.” Lucas replied.

“I was not!”

“Yes, you were. You often are. You don't get to be the sole decider on who is or isn't in the party, just like I didn't when I didn't agree with El being around.” Lucas pointed out. 

“I'm not rude to her, right guys?” Mike turned to Will and Dustin for backup. Will looked like a deer caught in the headlights and Dustin rubbed the back of his neck a little.

“You are kinda harsh with her.” Will said quietly.

“Yeah, she's not trying to take El’s place, she just wants to be included.” Dustin pointed out. 

Mike threw his hands up, announced he was going home and stalked off. Lucas was annoyed and went in the opposite direction leaving Will and Dustin standing there.

“Do you think we should do something?” Will asked and Dustin shook his head.

“Let them have their fit. I'm going to go into town and see about getting something for Steve. Want to come?” Dustin looked at Will who nodded.

“Sure, maybe we could go halves on something.” Dustin beamed at the offer and the two rode their bikes into town.

~~~

On Thursday, Nancy had insisted they go sit with Steve and Jonathan was uncomfortable. It wasn't that he disliked Steve, because he liked him just fine. He saved his life when he ran back into his house and grabbed the bat full of nail, and he watched out for Will and the other kids. But they weren't exactly friends either, and Jonathan was pretty certain Steve wouldn't have wanted people coming by to gawk at him. Nancy told him that Hopper and his mom couldn't be there, and if Billy Hargrove could do it, so could he.

It was worse than either of them anticipated. Steve looked broken, his face a molten mess of discoloration. Bandages wrapped around him, tubes and wires coming out of so many places. 

“Oh, Steve.” Nancy whispered, hand coming to her mouth in horror. Jonathan sank into the seat someone had pulled up alongside the bed and hesitantly put his hand over Steve’s wrist.

“Hey man, I don't know if you can hear me, but we're here for you ok?” Jonathan said awkwardly. “You're not going to be alone.”

“We haven't been very good friends to him.” Nancy said. “We should have made him go to the doctor after what happened with Billy and the tunnels, and instead we just let him deal with it alone. Do you know if he even got checked out?”

“Will said Dustin’s Mom checked in on him.” Jonathan said. "Who knows if that's true or not."

“He told me his dad was an asshole, but I was so caught up with Barb that I just thought he meant he'd be in trouble. Do you think he-”

“Nancy,” Jonathan cut in. “Stop, driving yourself crazy over what may have happened or what we could have done differently isn't going to help him. All we can do is be there for him now.” 

“I should have-” Nancy cut off her eyes growing wide. Jonathan was about to ask her what was wrong when she spoke again.

“Steve” Nancy breathed out. Jonathan snapped his attention back to Steve to see a half-lidded gaze. Jonathan opened his mouth to say something when the heart monitor started going nuts and an alarm started blaring. They were pushed outside to wait, and Jonathan held Nancy as she sobbed.


	5. Visitation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things look like they might be looking up, and the kids are allowed to visit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the kudos and comments!

“I know that must have been extremely frightening for you,” Dr. Jacobs said gently, “but what just happened was actually a positive thing. He panicked and began to fight tube in his throat. We were able to calm him and removed the tube and he is now successfully breathing on his own.” 

“So he's ok?” Nancy sniffed wiping at her eyes.

“I'll be frank with you, he still has a long way to go, but briefly regaining consciousness and breathing on his own? That's far more than we expected at this stage.” 

“Is he awake?” Jonathan asked.

“He's slipping in and out. I'll let you back in, but don't be upset if he doesn't wake up or respond alright?”

“Yes sir,” Jonathan responded tugging Nancy into the room. Steve looked slightly better without the tube down his throat, a nasal canal taking its place, but his breathing still sounded rough and seemed to rattle in his chest.

“Can you hear me Steve?” Nancy asked, slipping her hand into his. Steve didn't reply, but Nancy started up a narrative about what had been going on in the past few days as Jonathan watched him. He seemed to wake up briefly twice, but could do little more than let his eyes flicker around the room before falling back asleep. 

When they had to leave, Nancy was somewhat disappointed he hadn't woken up more, and voiced this to Jonathan as they walked to his car.

“He's not superman Nancy,” Jonathan had pointed out. “Dr. Jacobs said they didn't even think he'd be breathing on his own yet at this point, he's already doing better than expected.”

“You're right, I just hate this.” 

“We all do.” Jonathan assured her. “At least we can tell the kids he's improved a little.” That brought a small smile to her face.

~~~

Since Steve was breathing on his own and regaining consciousness briefly, the hospital gave into Hoppers nagging and loosened the visiting rules slightly to allow the kids. As per hospital rules, however, it was still limited to two visitors at a time though. There had been a pretty big argument over the visitation schedule but the party eventually figured one out.

Dustin came first and he brought Will with him much to Mike and Lucas confusion. Dustin had been devastated by the state of Steve and Will tried to console him. He didn't know Steve as well as some of the others, but he did know that he helped keep his friends safe at his own expense and Jonathan attributed Steve coming back to their house as the reason he survived his and Nancy's attempt to draw out a monster. 

“I don't know him as well as you do, will you tell me about him?” Will requested and Dustin cleared his throat and attempted a smile.

“He's awesome.” Dustin said earnestly. “You should see him in action with his nail bat. He was being bait to draw out the demodogs and even after Billy beat him all to hell, he still kept us safe.” His smile faded a little. “He was really hurt but wouldn't let us take him to the hospital. Said he didn't want to be a burden.”

“Your Mom checked him out?”

“Yes, I told her that he'd been babysitting and about Billy and she practically stormed his house.” Dustin almost smiled. “She likes him because she thinks he helped me look for Mews, and that he's good for me.”

“Ah, I heard about your cat.”

“She has finally given up hope of finding him. Steve offered to drive us down to the shelter when she's ready to get a new one.”

“Do you think he'd like a drawing?” Will asked. “I could draw him one, I made a picture of Bob for my mom.”

“I liked Bob.” Dustin said quietly. “I'm really sorry about what happened to him.”

“Yeah, me too.” Will said sadly, Dustin picked up on this and fidgeted. 

“I think Steve would like a picture.” Dustin said. Will smiled slightly and began to think about what he'd draw. He noticed as Dustin’s gaze began to tear up again as he stared at Steve.

“I really think that he’s going to be okay.” Will assured Dustin. “He already is doing so much better than the doctors expected, and with the added bonus of scaring the crap out of Jonathan and Nancy.”

Dustin laughed at that and he and Will conversed quietly for the rest of their visit.

~~~

Mike and Lucas came together. Lucas liked Steve a lot, kind of hard not to like the guy who took a beating trying to protect him. Mike didn't like Steve as much, but he certainly didn't think he deserved what happened to him. The pair hesitated in the doorway, rather unprepared for how awful Steve truly looked. Lucas steeled himself and marched in, sitting in the chair beside Steve's bed. 

“This is awkward.” Mike mumbled after several moments of silence.

“So awkward.” Lucas agreed. 

“Can he hear us?”

“I don't know. My dad said sometimes people are encouraged to talk to people in comas, but Steve isn't in a coma. He's just, _really_ messed up and unconscious.”

“Maybe we should talk then, it might help.”

“It couldn't hurt.” Lucas agreed.

“Nancy said he opened his eyes but didn't respond otherwise. Think he'll come around?” Mike questioned moving closer to Steve.

“Steve's pretty tough, if anyone is going to make it out of something like this, I'd put my money on him.” Lucas said. Mike nodded and began a narrative about how weird school had been and how kids who didn't even know Steve were going to the counselor. 

Steve opened his eyes once during their visit, and Lucas could swear he scanned their faces. Mike noticed too, halted his narration to call Steve's name. Steve made a strange noise in the back of his threat before drifting off again, but it bolstered Lucas’ spirits that his eyes had opened.

~~~

Max dragged Billy along with her when she went. When he had attempted to refuse, she started crying saying how his dad was just like Neil and how they were the only ones who understood, and he hated to admit that he caved. Manipulative little shit. Billy folded himself into the chair in the corner and Max crawled up onto the foot of Steve's bed.

“Oh,” Max said in a small voice being right on top of the damage she could see just how severe it was. 

“Yeah, I told you it was bad.”

“I just didn't think it would be like this.” 

“What did you think it'd be like? His dad tried to beat him to death then shot him when that didn't work. Did you think he'd be all smiles and reassurances?” Billy asked harshly.

“Stop.” Max hissed and Billy rolled his eyes.

“Get with reality Maxine, this isn't a movie, he isn't going to just be ok because you want him to be.”

“Billy-” 

“No, you have this ridiculous idea that we could be friends, and that’s-”

“Billy, shut up!” Max snapped and when he glared at her he realized she was staring at Steve who seemed to be watching Billy.

“I'll get the nurse.” Billy stood up abruptly and left the room. A nurse entered swiftly, but Billy didn't come back.


	6. Questions and Answers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve comes too and Hopper has questions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the support I've gotten on this, I didn't think it would go over this well!

Two weeks after Steve was taken off the breathing tube, he woke up more properly and was able to have short conversations. The doctors were thrilled at his progress, and while he would still sometimes stumble over words or drift off mid-sentence they were quick to assure the others he was improving.

It was on the fourth week, when Joyce and Jonathan were sitting with him that he seemed to understand why he was there. He woke up slowly, earning Joyce's attention.

“Steve, it's Joyce, can you hear me?” 

“Ngh” Steve got out and Joyce grabbed his hand. 

“It's ok, can you squeeze my hand for me?” the squeeze was weak, but there. Joyce beamed down at him. "I'm going to call for the nurse." Joyce was able to hit the button without releasing his hand. 

"Mr. Harrington, it's wonderful to see you awake again." The nurse gushed as she tended to him, a doctor they didn't recognize following her in.

Joyce and Jonathan were gently pushed from the room as they examined him, as his visitors were every time he regained consciousness. Joyce worried at her lower lip, pacing while she waited until the nurse returned.

“He’s still awake and talking.” She assured her. Once the doctor came out he nodded to them in acknowledgment.

“He's awake, but he's upset right now.” the doctor said. “Dr. Jacobs will come by when he starts his shift. It might be best to give him space.” 

“If he's upset the last thing he needs is to be left alone.” Joyce argued, heading into Steve's room before she got a response, Jonathan followed her in. Steve rolled his head towards them in an uncoordinated motion and something in his eyes broke Joyce’s heart.

“Steve?” 

“He shot my mom.” Steve said roughly and Jonathan poured him some water to busy himself. Joyce took it and guided a straw between Steve's lips. He took a few sips, searching her face. It was the first time he'd said anything about what happened and Joyce's heart hurt for him.

“Yes, I'm so sorry.” Joyce replied. She turned to where Jonathan was standing awkwardly. “Jonathan, go call Hopper ok?” Jonathan was grateful for the out and hurried from the room.

“My dad?”

“When Hopper gets here we’ll talk ok? Do you remember what happened? Do think you could answer some questions?” Steve nodded slowly, letting his eyes focus on the ceiling.

“It's my fault you know.” Steve murmured. “He killed her because of me, he told me that. It's my fault.” 

“Oh, Steve no,” Joyce's heart broke for him. A tear slipped out of the corner of his eye and he turned his head away. Joyce held his hand in both hers, wishing she knew how to piece him back together. 

~~~

By the time Hopper arrived, Jonathan had left, and Steve had drifted back off. Joyce looked devastated and Hopper cleared his threat from the doorway.

“How's the kid?”

“God Hop…” Joyce's face crumpled. “He thinks it's his fault. Said his dad told him he killed his mom because of him.” 

“Shit.” Hopper groaned. Steve stirred and Joyce leaned over his face.

“Steve, can you hear me?” 

“Hey kid, you with us?” Hopper asked and Steve groaned in response. Joyce helped him get his bed a little more inclined and Steve grimaced in pain. Hopper pulled another chair up, it screeched across the floor earning another grimace from Steve and a disapproving look from Joyce.

“Really?” Joyce asked exasperated but Hopper ignored it. 

“How are you feeling kid?”

“Been better.” Steve admitted.

“Think you might be up to answering some questions?” 

“Yeah,” Steve said roughly, and Joyce got him some water. He sipped it thankfully. “What do you want to know?” 

“Can you walk me through what happened?”

“I was sleeping.” Steve mumbled, eyes fixated on the bed.. “I heard noise and went to see what it was. They weren't even supposed to be home.”

“Where were they?”

“I don't remember.” Steve looked upset by this.

“You were surprised they were home?” Joyce prompted.

“They never came home if I was hurt before. Normally just got a call about being an embarrassment.” Joyce looked horrified and wrapped her arms around him.

“Jesus kid.” Hopper muttered.

“Dad was angry about something. I-I don't remember what, maybe that they were home? They were yelling and I don't think I've ever seen him that mad. I don't even know where it came from, but he shot my mom.” Steve fisted the sheets in his hands, his breathing ragged. Joyce rubbed his back, looking at Hopper over the top of Steve's head. 

“You're doing great.” She encouraged.

“I yelled, I tried to get to her, but he hit me and knocked me down. Then he just kept on hitting me. I don't remember much after that. I think I made a phone call?”

“Yeah kid, you dragged yourself to the phone and called the station. Told Flo what happened.”

“Everything kind of started to hurt all at once. I remember he stomped on my ribs, yelled that he hadn't wanted to kill her, it was my fault she died. I ruined everything.”

“That isn't true.” Joyce said vehemently.

“Did he shoot me too?”

“Yes he did, twice.” Hopper confirmed. “One bullet shattered your femur, the other fractured in your chest around your collarbone.”

“What happens now? Will he go to jail?”

“Steve,” Hopper said pained. “He shot himself in the head after he shot you.”

“Oh.” Steve said quietly, deflating in Joyce's arms.

“I’ve got one more question for you. Has something like this happened before?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're having guests next week, so I probably won't be able to update for about a week.


	7. Questions and Answers 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "He'd never hurt my mom before."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, our guests have left, so I'm going to try and get another chapter out this week to make up for a week of radio silence lol! Thank you for all the Kudos and Comments!

It's quiet for a few moments, and Joyce found herself tightening her hold, as if she could somehow protect him from the damage that's already been done. Steve took a shuddering breath and raised his eyes to meet Hoppers. 

“He'd never hurt my mom before.” Steve started and Joyce frowned, the unspoken confirmation that this wasn't the first time he'd hurt _Steve_ was loud and clear.

“Why didn't you say anything?” Hopper asked looking horrified and Steve’s eyes took on a weary wounded quality.

“I did when I was younger, but money talks and it spoke loudly to the former chief. I knew by the age of about eight I wasn't going to get help after my teacher reported bruises and two days later was suddenly mistaken. I'm dumb, but I'm not so dumb that I couldn't see the connection.”

“You aren't dumb!” Joyce protested, Steve gave her a sad disbelieving smile, and continued.

“I stopped asking for help after that. By the time you came around, they'd been leaving me home for long periods of time for a year or so. He hadn't hit me in about three years, but then Barb went missing out of my backyard.”

“Steve, you should have come to us.” Joyce said. Steve's eyes were back on his hands, no longer willing to look either of them in the eye.

“There were more important things going on. I got mixed up with all the craziness, but if I hadn't, I would have no reason to trust either of you to care about what happened to me.”

There was a ring of truth to it, at least Joyce thought so, but to hear Steve admit in his experience no one cared enough about him to refuse a bribe and help, hurt her to hear. She hadn't known much about Steve except he and Jonathan got in a fight once, and Steve had replaced Jonathan’s camera, letting Nancy take the credit for it. 

She'd like to think she'd still have cared. Steve began to stiffen in her arms and she let him go, keeping one hand on his shoulder, wishing she had the words to fix this. There was nothing to say to make this ok and she looked over at Hopper.

Hopper looked like he'd been punched in the gut, his face twisting up in a way that Joyce knew well, he was bothered by what Steve had said. He took a steadying breath and gently grasped Steve's wrist, trying to convey some kind of comfort.

“The adults in your life failed you repeatedly, and you're right, with your track record you had no reason to believe I'd have helped you then, but after everything, I wish you had felt safe enough around me to come to me.”

“If I thought he'd kill her, I'd have tried to talk to you, I swear.” Steve said.

“Steve, it doesn't make us feel any better that you'd have kept silent about it if he hadn't hurt your mother.” Joyce said gently. Steve looked helpless for a moment and then so unbearably young, wrapped in bandages, looking pale and impossibly small in his hospital bed.

“You've suffered alone for years, I hope you'll let us be there for you now.” Hopper said and Steve tried to nod like he believed them.

“I'm tired, could I rest now?” Steve asked and Hopper realized he was shutting down.

“Yeah kid, get some rest.” Hopper said softly, watching as Joyce gently released his shoulder. Steve twisted away as much as his injuries would allow and shut his eyes.

“The kids will be by later.” Joyce said softly and the two quietly left the room.

“This corresponds with what Claudia said about old scarring.” Hopper said and Joyce frowned. It was terrible that someone like Steve, who had grown so much as a person in the last couple years, would have gone through so much and just suffered silently because apparently no one gave a shit about him.

“Hopefully the kids can help cheer him up.” Joyce offered weakly as the two headed towards the lobby.

~~~

Steve slept for nearly thirty hours after the discussion with Hopper and Joyce and the kids had been worried. Dr. Jacobs walked into a whisper fight between one of the boys and Hopper, stalling in the doorway due to surprise.

“And what good did it do?” Mike whispered harshly. “It just seemed to stress Steve out.”

“We needed to know.” Hopper replied, just as irritated.

“For what? It isn't like you can actually get him justice. His dad killed his mom, tried to murder _him_ , then killed himself. Steve didn't need you rehashing what can't be changed and can't be avenged! It just upset him and now he's sleeping again!”

“Listen kid-”

“No, you listen!” 

Steve let out a small noise of distress at the anger in their voices and tried to curl in on himself in his sleep, which was impossible due to his still healing injuries and the fact his leg with the shattered femur was in traction. That was all Dr. Jacobs needed to see before he strode into the room. 

“That's enough.” He said sternly, attempting to ease Steve's discomfort while glaring at his two visitors. “Mr. Harrington has a lot to recover from. There are both physical and mental injuries here. He's been dealing with things by himself for a long time and he blames himself for what happened to his mother. He's going to need a support system and if you're it then get it together because _this_ isn't helping!”

“Sorry doc”

“Yeah, sorry sir.”

He almost laughed at the look on Hoppers face, looking just as shamefaced as the kid and they both shooting worried looks at Steve. Dr. Jacobs nodded, feeling like his point had been made before checking Steve over and leave the room, casting one last warning glance behind him. 

~~~

Steve woke up to whispers. Dustin and El were sitting together by the edge of his bed. He wasn't sure how Eleven even got there, but he eyed them wearily, he didn’t have the energy to cover for them when Hopper inevitably found out.

“Are you even supposed to be here?” He asked tiredly and both kids jumped in surprise. Dustin made a move like he was going to throw himself at him, but El caught his arm.

“Still hurt,” she reminded him, before smiling at Steve.

“We may have convinced Jonathan to help smuggle her in. She didn't believe our reports and needed to see you for herself.” Dustin explained.

“If Hopper finds out, you're on your own.” Steve said. 

“He won't find out “ Dustin said before hesitating. “Well, hopefully he won't.”

“How are you?” El asked, giving him a look that seemed to imply he'd better tell her the truth and she already knew the answer. 

“Been better.”

“Your father was a _bad man_.” El hissed and Steve hummed in agreement before wincing as he attempted to shift into a more comfortable position.

“Are you hurting?” Dustin asked fidgeting next to him. “Should I call the nurse?”

“No, it's ok.” Steve assured him.

“You're hurting, you shouldn't have to hurt, I could-”

“Henderson,” Steve started, seeing how worked up Dustin was getting. “I'm ok. Of course it hurts, my femur was apparently shattered, but a nurse will just up the pain meds and I'll go back to sleep. If you somehow got Jonathan to smuggle El in, I figure I should at least be awake for when Hopper storms the hospital.” 

“He's not going to storm the hospital.” Dustin protested, but he was smiling.

“Well, he might.” El conceded, and Dustin’s smile fell slightly.

“She insisted on seeing you, she can take the fall.” Dustin decided. El rolled her eyes before moving to the bed, carefully climbing up and curling up beside him.

“You're hurt worse than they said.” She argued. “Will you be ok?”

“Yes,” Steve said though he wasn't exactly sure that was true. “I just need time to get better.”

“Do you remember anything from when you first started waking up?” Dustin asked curiously. “For a while you'd just open your eyes but not respond otherwise. It was a little scary, to be honest.”

“I think I remember Nancy holding my hand, and you said something about Mr. Newby?” Dustin nodded. “At different times I think I saw different people. I think I saw Billy?”

“Billy's actually been by twice, crazy right?” Dustin said and Steve blinked owlishly.

“What?”

“Apparently before they'd let us in Max asked him to come. Mrs. Byers was here then. Max dragged him along when she visited. That's probably when you saw him.” Dustin explained shrugging. “He's pretty on edge about what happened.”

Steve wasn't sure what he made of that. He and Billy were never friends, Billy seemed to hate the very sight of him. Steve had suspected that Billy's home life was shitty, he recognized a few coping mechanisms, but he'd never had any confirmation and he never dared to ask Max, though maybe he should.

“Huh.” Was the only thing he bothered to say. Jonathan suddenly appeared in the doorway.

“Alright we gotta go, I don't want to get busted.”

“Too late.” Came Hopper's unimpressed voice from behind him.


	8. Panic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jonathan curled into himself in a way that reminded Stever of a turtle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the support I've gotten for this story!

Jonathan curled into himself in a way that reminded Steve of a turtle. He didn't dare look behind him, just hurried into Steve's room casting a panicked look at Steve that almost made him laugh. Instead, he let out a sigh and looked down at El, still curled against his side.

“Told you.”

“You were lacking in your reports.” El said calmly from where she was nestled against Steve.

“My reports-- you've been spending too much time with Mike.” El shrugged.

“Maybe.”

“You know it's not safe.” Hopper hissed.

“I'm fine.” El argued, easing away from Steve and getting up off the bed.

“The rules-”

“Are stupid!” 

“They keep you safe!”

“I'm _fine!_ ”

“We don't do stupid things remember?”

“It _wasn't_ stupid!” 

Steve, Jonathan, and Dustin had become increasingly uncomfortable as the argument continued. Dustin took a step forward to align himself more with El, and Jonathan sidestepped to be closer to Steve. Steve felt panic began to claw at him and he tried to ignore it, but in his experience yelling almost always ended in him getting hurt. 

“Chief, she just wanted-”

“Zip it!”

Hopper threw his arms up in frustration, taking several quick steps forward. Steve flinched back at the abrupt movement. Hopper and El didn't notice, too caught up in their argument, Dustin didn't notice because he was watching Hopper, but Jonathan was watching Steve, so he _did_ notice. The last thing Steve needed was to be thrown into some sort of panic-induced flashback, so Jonathan intervened.

“Chief, let's step out for a minute.” Jonathan said turning to face him and stepping in front of the irritated man. 

Hopper was about to argue, but when he saw Jonathan subtly nod toward Steve and the wary look on Steve's face as he wrapped his hand around El’s arm gently as if to pull her to safety, he understood why Jonathan suggested they step away. He was coming off far more aggressively than he intended, and Steve looked like he was about to start panicking. Hopper was a big man, and Franklin had been a big man too. The last thing he wanted was to remind Steve of his father.

“Yeah. Let's do that.” The pair stepped out and Jonathan turned to Hopper frowning.

“I understand you're upset, but you were upsetting Steve.” Jonathan said once they got outside the room.

“You shouldn't have brought her here.” Hopper said.

“Maybe not, but she was getting very different reports from you and the others. She wanted to see for herself because she felt like she was being lied to. Those are her words. She knew you wouldn’t let her come.”

“I just want to keep her safe.” 

“I understand that, but right now my concern is making sure _Steve_ feels safe, and doesn't have a panic attack because a big scary guy is yelling.” Hopper looked guilty.

“Kid has been through too much already.”

“He has, but he also apparently has a protective streak and I wouldn’t put it past him to have done something stupid, like try and put himself between you two.”

“I'd never hurt them.” Hopper protested.

“I'm sure he knows that, but he flinched Hop. When you threw your arms up, he flinched like you were going to hit him.” 

Hopper groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. He was pretty sure after that display of aggression, however inadvertent it had been, whatever small amount of faith Steve might have had in him was gone or at least shaken.

“Damn it.” Hopper muttered.

“Take her home, and I'll take Dustin home and maybe you could come back in a day or two and talk to Steve.” Jonathan suggested cautiously. Hopper nodded and Jonathan stepped back into the doorway, watching as El and Dustin fussed over Steve.

“Alright guys, El, Hopper is taking you home, Dustin I'll take you.”

“Bye Steve.” El said hugging him gently. She disappeared outside and Dustin hesitated for a moment.

“I'll be back tomorrow buddy.” Dustin said flashing a smile and Jonathan gave a reassuring nod. 

“If my mom doesn't ground me for aiding and abetting I'll be by tomorrow too.” Jonathan said and Steve grinned at that. Once they were gone Steve deflated against the pillows. He was so tired, and his heart still felt like it was trying to pound out of his chest. He bitterly resigned himself to his current condition and closed his eyes to try and rest.

~~~

“Why was Steve scared?” El asked on the way home.

“I think he was afraid I was going to hurt someone.”

“But you wouldn't hurt us.” 

“He knows that” Hopper assured her. “He was hurt really badly by someone who was supposed to love him and take care of him, and it happened more than just this one time. I was angry and made a sudden movement and it was probably a conditioned response.”

“Conditioned response?” El echoed confused.

“Yeah, it means when his dad would yell or hurt him, he would react a certain way. I, unfortunately, triggered that response.” 

“Oh.” El frowned and folded her arms across her chest. “But he knows-”

“Yes, I'm sure he knows I'd never hurt you, or Dustin or any of you kids, even if I might want to kick Mike in his smart ass sometimes.”

“Hey!” But it was a laugh, so he considered that a win.

“But, he's still really hurt and he's not used to having adults, or people in general, care about what happens to him, so he's trying to learn how to deal with that.” 

“I understand.”

“Good, now we're going to talk about you sneaking out to visit instead of just asking to go.” El groaned, but settled in for the lecture she knew was coming.

~~~

Neither Dustin nor Jonathan returned the next day, being replaced by Nancy and Max. Steve was assured that Jonathan wasn't grounded for aiding and abetting, but had been wrangled into helping Will with some sort of school project, and Dustin and Lucas had gotten roped into helping Mike with something for Eleven. 

“Carol and Tommy broke up again.” Nancy announced as she sat in the chair by his bed and Max hopped up onto the foot of the bed.

“They do this two or three times a year, what set them off this time?” Steve asked.

“You, apparently. He tried to make another joke, and it had basically the same response. Tina yelled, Billy slammed him into a locker, and this time Carol called him a monster and broke up with him. She might come by with Tina if you're ok seeing them. I told them I'd ask.”

“Yeah, I guess so.” Steve said with a shrug. Tina still talked to him in class sometimes, and he had been friends with Carol for years before their friendship ended. “Wait, why would Billy slam him into a locker?”

“He takes offense to what he's been saying.” Max said before Nancy could answer. “What happened to you was really upsetting and shocking to most people, and he doesn't think it's funny that the jackass keeps trying to make a joke out of it.” 

“You know, for someone who doesn't like Steve, he sure has been defensive.” Nancy said. “It's like he's completely forgotten he hurt him not all that long ago.”

“Well, what happened to Steve rattled him a little. There were other things at play that night. Not an excuse, it's just a bit of reasoning to why he's acting like this now.” Steve glanced over at Max and she squirmed slightly.

“I think most people would be rattled.” Steve said. “Despite our rather unpleasant history, I doubt he expected something like this to happen.”

“He thought your life was very different than it actually turned out to be. I think he might feel a little guilty about how he treated you, but Billy is ridiculously bad at expressing himself in any way other than anger.” Max tried to explain.

“It’s almost like the more you ignored him, the harder he tried to get your attention.” Nancy said.

“If there's one thing Billy hates more than being here, it's being ignored.” Max replied with a shrug. “The fact that Steve just didn't care that Billy was trying to take his spot as “king” seriously messed with him. Where's the fun in taking something from someone if they willingly give it to you.”

“Well, I'm not going to turn it down if he decides to not be an asshole.” Steve said mildly.

“How are you feeling? Dustin said you were hurting yesterday.” Max asked and Steve offered her a smile, but it was clearly forced and it made something in Nancy's chest ache.

“I'm ok, you guys really don't need to waste so much of your time on me.” He told her, and he actually looked like he felt guilty they spent time with him. It made Nancy frowned.

“We aren't wasting our time Steve.” Max told him.

“There are surely better ways for you to spend your time than sitting around with me. I'm grateful for the company of course, but you guys shouldn't feel like you have to keep visiting, I know there are more important things going on.” 

“What do you think we have going on?” Nancy asked carefully.

“School, family obligations, friends. Didn't you say you wanted to look for a job? You both have boyfriends who I'm sure want to spend time with you.” 

“And you think all that's more important than you?”

“Of course it is.” 

“Steve, you're important too.” Max stressed and Steve shrugged.

“No I’m not, but that's really nice of you to say.”

Steve wondered why they were looking at him like that. Max looked like she might cry and Nancy looked horrified. He didn't understand their reactions, he was sure there were much bigger things to worry about other than coming to sit with him out of some supposed obligation they felt they had to him.

“You don't really think that do you?” Max asked and Steve shrugged again.

“It's true.” Before either could reply to his statement a nurse informed them they needed to run some tests, and they'd have to come back tomorrow. Steve said goodbye as the two left. The pair walked silently out of the hospital before Max stopped and looked at Nancy.

“Nancy, what are we going to do? He thinks he's unimportant, a burden.” 

“We'll just have to prove that he isn't.”

“But how?”

“I don't know.” Nancy admitted. “We'll come up with something.” 

“I'll let the others know.” Max said, already making plans to phone Lucas to get the party together so they could discuss this discouraging development.

“We'll have to be careful with how we do this, it has years of being told and treated like this all over it.” Nancy said quietly. She gave Max a ride home, fretting at her lower lip the whole time. It wouldn't be as simple as just reassuring Steve that he wasn't a burden. He wouldn't believe them and think they were just giving him lip service to make him feel better. She just wasn't sure how to prove it to him.

~~~

The next day, Jonathan and Hopper showed up to try and discuss what had happened, passing an obviously distressed Carol and a tearful Tina on the way. They reached the room and Hopper paused, frowning at the lines of distress in Steve's face. 

“Hey kid,” Hopper said and he tried to ignore the pang in his chest when Steve flinched.

“Hi chief.” 

“Can we talk a bit?” Jonathan asked. Before Steve could respond there were raised voices in the hall and a loud bang. Jonathan jumped in surprise and demanded to know what that was, but Hopper ignored him and moved slowly into the room, hands out in what he hoped was a non-threatening gesture.

“Steve.” Hopper said and Jonathan whipped around to see him. Steve had gone pale, his hands shaking and his eyes wide and frantic. His breathing sped up and his eyes began to tear. 

“Hop?” Jonathan asked anxiously.

“Steve, can you hear me? It's ok.”

“Don't” Steve breathed out. _“Please.”_ His panic only grew as the pair tried to comfort him and Jonathan soon ran from the room to get some sort of medical personnel when their attempts were met with more pleading and flinching away.

By the time he got back, Dr. Jacobs in tow, he realized Steve was too far gone. He was outright sobbing now, gasping for air, responding violently to touch, and begging for it to stop. Dr. Jacobs pushed Hopper away and attempted to bring Steve down from his panic. It was alarmingly clear that Steve was not with them at this moment but caught in some terrible memory. Hopper and Jonathan were shaken, asking questions that weren't getting answers. Jonathan hated the inability to help, having to stand by and watch Steve suffer.

In the end, Steve had to be sedated, tears rolling down his face as he fell unconscious. After confirming that Steve had a panic attack induced flashback, Dr. Jacob asked the two to leave as Steve wouldn't be awake for a while and it took Jonathan by surprise when Hopper squeezed his shoulder and told him he was ok. 

It was then that Jonathan realized he'd been crying a little too.


	9. Surprise Visits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So does that only apply to me, or do you allow yourself that same grace?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, everyone, for the comments and Kudos, I never thought this story would gainer much attention, so it's a pleasant surprise.

When everyone else found out what happened, coupled with the news of Steve's low opinion on his self-worth, it left them somber. Joyce and Hopper discussed quietly what to do in the kitchen, while Jonathan and Nancy huddled in the corner talking in hushed voices. The party argued amongst themselves about the best way to fix the situation. 

“I don't think just _telling_ him he's awesome is going to work.” Max said rolling her eyes at Lucas. “He told us he wasn't important, but it was _nice_ that we said it.”

“He's upset right now, but I'm sure he'll work past it.” Mike said, but he didn't look like he believed his own words.

“You don't just get over something like this. What he'll do is pretend he's ok, and that will eventually come back to bite him in the ass and he'll just keep suffering silently because that's what he thinks he _has_ to do.” Dustin said.

“He's going to have to get through it somehow though,” Lucas said. “We just have to figure out how to help him do it.

“He lost his whole family. To violence no less. His dad murdered his mom and Steve saw it happen. He blames himself for it happening, knowing Steve he hates himself for it.” Dustin said a deep frown etching on to his face.

This statement had everyone talking at once, so no one noticed when Will slipped from the room. He wrote a quick note to his mom on the pad by the front door and slipped outside. He hopped on his bike and rode towards the hospital, he wasn't sure if this was a good idea or not, but he felt out of all of them he might be the closest at getting it. He tried to think of what to say as he rode.

~~~

Steve was ashamed of himself. Dr. Jacobs had told him not to be, that him having a panic attack was actually normal given the circumstances. The raised voices had been two family members arguing, one shoved the other and it knocked over a tray, which is what caused the crash. Steve had no way of knowing that though, and his reaction was perfectly understandable considering what had happened to him.

He was so busy rehashing the scene and wishing he remembered more than sheer panic and then waking up to a nurse telling him he’d been sedated and that he was ok now. The fact he freaked out in front of Hopper and Jonathan made it even worse somehow. Steve was startled when Will appeared seemingly out of nowhere next to him.

“Jesus little Byers, someone should put a bell on you.” Will grinned weakly.

“Sorry, I knocked, but you seem pretty deep in thought.” 

“Oh, sorry. Wait a second, are you here alone? Does anyone know you're here?”

“I left my mom a note.”

“What are you doing here? Your mom is going to freak.”

“I wanted to see you. I know we don’t know each other as well as some of the others, but you helped keep my friends safe. Jonathan says you saved his life, that makes you important to me. Also, I understand panic attacks pretty well at this point.”

“I don’t-” Steve started to protest, but Will shook his head and Steve fell silent.

“I used to feel ashamed, I still do sometimes. When I would have a panic attack or wake up screaming, I’d feel guilty, like I was hurting those around me.”

“Will, what happened to you, it was horrific and it’s completely understandable that you would still have moments like that. No one blames you for not being able to just shake off what happened, it's still pretty fresh. You aren’t hurting anyone by still having feelings about what happened.” Steve tried to comfort him.

“So does that only apply to me, or do you allow yourself that same grace?” Will asked boldly, and Steve looked at him in surprise.

“Will, it’s not the same thing.”

“Isn’t it? The only real difference I see is that the monster that hurt me was an actual monster. The monster that hurt you was worse because it was someone who was supposed to care about you. What happened to you was horrible, it was brutal and no one thinks any less of you for being affected by it. No one expects you to just shake it off Steve.”

“Why not?” Steve asked, a sudden tiredness in his voice. “For as much talk that I’ve recently heard about how people wish I’d come to them or how what happened wasn’t ok, it seemed like people thought it was pretty damn ok until my mom got murdered.”

“Steve.” Will said but Steve shook his head.

“Sorry, but no one gave a shit until now. Our monsters might be different, but you also have a support system you've never had to question. You have a Mom who'd move a mountain stone by stone if she had to, a brother who would try to hunt down a monster, and friends willing to put themselves in harm's way.” Will liked to think he was pretty smart and could read through the lines.

“And they don’t care about you?” Will asked cautiously.

“I just don't have the same kind of unwavering support system.”

“Why don't you think people care?”

“It's complicated.”

“So explain it to me. We've got time before my mom sends someone for me.”

“Will,” Steve sighed, but he gave in at Will’s look. “I learned pretty young that the people who were supposed to help me didn't care enough to refuse a bribe, so I just stopped saying anything, and people just ignored my injuries. As I got older I learned quickly that my so-called friends didn't care about me, they cared about what I could do for them. I thought Nancy cared, but turns out I was wrong about that too.” 

“She cares,” Will tried but Steve snorted.

“Maybe she does, but it sure didn't feel like it when she slurred out that she didn't love me and that it was all bullshit. Then she just went off with your brother like nothing happened. I told her it was ok because what else was I supposed to do?” 

“I didn't know that.”

“How could you have? You had much bigger problems. Then I got dragged into looking for a monster with Henderson and your other friends.”

“You were really hurt and you still protected them.” Will tried to praise him.

“It's not like I had much choice, those stupid little shits were going to get themselves killed.”

“Dustin said you wouldn't let anyone take you to the hospital. Were you afraid your dad would find out?”

“I didn't want my dad to find out, but Hopper was also afraid I'd accidentally reveal something about El and agreed that he didn't think I needed a hospital. I didn't want to burden anyone while so much more important stuff was still going on.”

“Steve, you were just as important.” Will said upset at what he was hearing.

“Not really, you'd just been put through the wringer for the second time, and El had just closed the gate and was exhausted, that was so much more important. You shouldn't be upset with anyone Will, they didn't know and Hopper was just trying to protect El.” Steve said earnestly, noticing the look on Will’s face.

“And who protected you?” Will asked and Steve shrugged.

“I made it through ok.”

“You weren't there the next morning.” Will said as he suddenly remembered Dustin asking where Steve had gone and was met with several apathetic shrugs, and then Steve was forgotten when El surged upright screaming from a nightmare.

“I wasn't needed anymore, so I went home during the night.” 

"You just walked home?"

"Walking might be too kind a word for the staggering I did." Steve said trying to make a joke, but meek little Will Byers was suddenly not so meek as he stared at him. Steve shifted slight discomforted by Will’s serious gaze.

“I was ok Will, I slept for a couple of days and I was ok.” 

“You aren’t supposed to sleep with a concussion.”

“I know, and I should have set an alarm or something, but I was too tired to think straight.” Steve admitted.

"But Dustin said his mom checked in on you!"

"She did, the day I woke up."

“You could have died.” 

“Apparently, I'm more resilient than I look.” He tried to joke again, but Will just looked devastated.

Will climbed up onto the bed and Steve instinctively shifted slightly to accommodate him. He nestled against Steve's side, frowning. Of course he didn't think anyone cared, no one showed him they did until he'd nearly died, and while yes everyone actually cared a whole hell of a lot, he had no reason to believe it was genuine.

"I know this might not mean very much to you, but for what it's worth, _I_ care about what's happened to you." Will said softly and Steve smiled.

"You shouldn't burden yourself with me, kid." 

That was heartbreaking and Will curled further into Steve's side wanting nothing more than to fix the mess others made of him. Will eventually dozed off, trying to think of how to explain this to the others.

~~~

Will woke up to a nurse gently shaking him awake. Steve looked down at him groggily and Will realized he must have been sleeping too.

“Will, your ride is here.” 

“Who is it?” Steve asked and Will realized Steve was worried about him still. The nurse blinked before smiling gently at Steve. 

“It's his brother and Nancy Wheeler.” That seemed to settle Steve and he nodded.

“Bye little Byers. I hope your mom lets you see the light of day sometime again soon.” He was surprised when Will laughed, then hugged him before leaving the room. Jonathan had a strange expression on his face when he met Will at the entrance to the hospital.

“Want to tell me why you snuck out of the house?” Jonathan asked and Will sighed. 

“I just needed to talk to him.” 

“And you couldn't have said something or bother to bring someone with you?”

“No.”

“Will,” Jonathan sighed.

“I thought I might be able to be able to identify with him since I've had panic attacks too, but God Jonathan, this is going to be harder than we thought.”

“What does that mean?”

“I'm not sure I should say anything about it right now.” Will said frowning as he thought over what Steve had said.

“Ok, but Mom isn't going to let you off the hook.” Nancy glanced at when they reached the car, but the shake of Jonathan's head and the slight scowl on Will’s face kept her quiet. They were silent the whole ride home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to be busier for a while, but I will still try and get a chapter out a week.


	10. Will Byers, secret badass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "And someone should have checked on Steve after El closed the gate!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for all the positive feedback everyone!

Joyce pounced on Will the moment he was in the house and dragged him away to discuss what he'd done. Will allowed himself to be planted in a seat and watched his mother pace anxiously. He felt bad for worrying her, but he felt worse for Steve.

“You can't just do things like that Will!” 

“Everyone was just arguing and going in circles, and I thought I could help and he might be more willing to talk without an audience.”

“You nearly gave me a heart attack!”

“I left a note, I needed to see him.”

“You should have waited.”

“And someone should have checked on Steve after El closed the gate!” Will suddenly snapped and Joyce took a step back in shock. Will didn't care though, he was suddenly overwhelmed with anger on Steve's behalf. He needed to make her understand the real problem.

“What?”

“He thinks no one actually cares about him and that's why he thinks he's unimportant, and I can't blame him Mom. Yeah, we're here now, after he nearly died, but we weren't there before. No one has ever shown him they care.”

“Will, we only just recently met Steve.”

“We knew him when he stumbled home with a concussion because he didn't think he was needed anymore! And Hopper was afraid he might have let something slip about El so he didn't go to the hospital and he slept for two days! Mrs. Henderson checked in on him on the day he woke up. He could have died before she did, and not one of us thought to check up on him?”

“I didn't-”

“And the worst part is he's not even upset! He understands, but what is he understanding Mom? The confirmation of knowing that people only care about him when there's something in it for them? Or that they feel guilty they had been around him for a while and had no idea that his dad hurt him or he thought he was this worthless?” 

Joyce was overwhelmed and grabbed Will by his shoulders to keep him from saying anything else. She had been upset when she found the note, to fresh memories assaulted her, but the knowledge that Steve never had the same concern for him shook her. She took a few deep breaths before looking Will in the eyes.

“I need you to tell me what Steve said.”

“I compared our monsters because I could tell he was upset about his panic attack and I thought I could help. He told me, without telling me, the difference between us wasn't that one monster was literal and one was human, it was that I had people who cared about me and he didn't.”

“Will, he probably didn't-” Will kept talking needing to get it out.

“He's never had anyone who cared about him just for him, and he doesn't even believe Nancy ever did because of everything that happened between him and Nancy and Jonathan. Us showing up now is great, but he has no reason to believe we actually care about him. I told him that I cared and he told me I shouldn't burden myself with him.” 

“So you think that he just thinks we're here out of guilt?”

“Kinda. People like Nancy and Hopper might not have meant to hurt him, but they did and it just reinforced his ideas that no one cares and he's burdening people when they do show up. I didn’t ask, and he didn’t say anything, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he thought all of us rushing to his side now was all guilt and pity based.”

“So what do you think we should do?” Joyce asked and Will took a deep breath. 

“I think everyone should keep visiting, but I think I should visit him more.” Will said. “We don’t know each other well enough yet for him to think I’ve used him for something yet. I might be able to get him to keep talking. I’m going to need your help though, because when I have to tell everyone else here, Nancy, Hopper, Dustin and possibly Jonathan are going to feel guilty and want to prove themselves or something, but we can’t let them swarm him like they're going to want to. Can you help me?”

“Yes.” Because what other answer was there?

~~~

When Will came clean and told them all what happened during his visit, he was pretty accurate with his predicted responses. Nancy cried, Dustin started rambling about how he should have gone to Steve's, Hopper looked briefly like he'd been punched in the face then started cursing himself, and Jonathan looked guilty. And none of them reacted to Will telling them to back off well.

“Will-” Jonathan started to say before getting drowned out.

“I need to see him!” Dustin yelled, just as Nancy sobbed.

“I have to apologize, I never meant to hurt him like that!” and Hopper ground out

“I'm the adult here...”

All three fell silent when Will raised his hand. No one was really used to Will taking charge of anything, but the generally timid and anxious boy had a steely determination that no one expected. He was angry, because as much as everyone hyper focused on his well-being, and he appreciated it, no one did that for Steve. No one had ever done that for Steve. If Will had to be his advocate, then so be it.

“No. I know you guys want to prove that you care, but look at this from Steve's perspective for a minute. His whole life people ignored the fact he was being hurt, his friends used him, and it was drilled into him that he didn't matter to anyone. Then, he meets someone who he really cared about, gets tangled up in the demogorgon mess, and after some time passes, he's told in a, uh, less than kind way that the feelings weren't returned.” Nancy visibly flinched. 

“Wait a second,” Jonathan tried, but Will shot him a look and Jonathan quieted down.

“Then, he gets a concussion protecting some kids he has no obligation too, and then dragged into tunnels that could have killed him and said kids. None of this actually benefits _him,_ he just wants to help keep the kids safe.” 

“He-” but whatever Lucas was going to say died out as Will steamrolled over him.

“ _Somehow,_ everything worked out, but he's hurt. Instead of getting him help, we all just accepted him saying he didn't want to go, and when Chief Hopper agreed, and it wasn't because he actually thought Steve was ok, we all just forgot about him. He stumbled home _in the middle of the night_ because he didn't think anyone needed him anymore and he slept for two days before Dustin's Mom checked up on him.” 

“I was worried he might say something about El.” Hopper defended.

“Yeah, he told me you were protecting her when he was telling me not to be upset with anyone. No one was protecting Steve though, and _I_ believe each of you cares about Steve, but _he_ doesn't have a reason to believe that.” 

“So you think he thinks we're here for him now out of guilt?” Max summarized.

“Basically. Look, it took him nearly dying for us to rally around him. Maybe if we'd insisted he go to the hospital, or at least gone to find him when we realized he was gone, it might be different, but it might not have mattered because Steve's been treated like he was nothing and he didn't matter for his entire life.” Will said. 

“So how do we show him he's wrong?” Mike asked and Max shook her head.

“We don't, because he isn't actually wrong. We haven’t treated him like he mattered up to this point, so why would he believe us now? I think we might need to follow Will’s lead on this.”

“What should we do Will?” Asked Dustin and Will was kinda surprised they actually listened to him.

“Does this mean we shouldn’t visit anymore?” Lucas asked immediately after.

“No, I think everyone should keep visiting, but you guys can’t lay your guilt out on him. It isn’t that he’s just being stubborn or anything, he genuinely believes this, it’s going to take patience and time to make him feel like we do care.”

“So what do we do?” Dustin asked again. Will hesitated a moment and glanced at his mom, and she gave him a firm nod.

“We're going to keep visiting him as normal, and we're not going to bring anything I've told you up. You won't apologize for anything yet.”

“But I need-”

“Nancy.” Jonathan interrupted, hand on her shoulder.

“This isn't about what any of us need right now,” Joyce said gently. “It's about what Steve needs.” 

The others all eventually agreed, even though no one was happy about it, they knew right now Steve needed support without being bogged down with their apologies and guilt. The group began to work on a visitation schedule again and trying to figure out safe topics for a while. Jonathan slid up next to Will and the younger boy looked up at him.

“Who'd have guessed my little brother was secretly a badass.” Jonathan said ruffling Will’s hair with a smile. Will couldn't help but smile back with satisfaction.

When Lucas and Mike showed up the next morning, it was to an empty room. Both boys panicked momentarily before spotting a nurse pushing an exhausted looking Steve down the hall in a wheelchair. Lucas hurried forward.

“You weren't in your room.” He accused, but Steve could see the unease in his eyes.

“Were you not told he'd be there soon?” The nurse asked in concern. “He's out of traction now, so he went to meet with our physical therapist to talk about some rehab for his leg.” 

“He doesn't kid around either.” Steve said and the nurse gave his shoulder a gentle pat. 

“I know you're sore, do you want to get back into bed?”

“Can I stay in the chair for a while?” Apparently that was what the nurse was hoping to hear because her face lit up with a smile.

“Absolutely.” She relinquished her hold to Lucas who pushed Steve into his room where Mike stood anxiously.

“I'm ok.” He assured them. Both boys hesitated for a few moments before Lucas sat in a chair and Mike sat on Steve's bed.

“We didn't know you were starting rehab.” Mike said and Steve shrugged.

“I didn't either.” Steve admitted. “Last night Dr. Jacobs said he wanted me to meet with Dr. Graves about starting physical therapy and Dr. Graves apparently decided that meant I'd get started today.”

“That's good though right?” Lucas asked.

“I think so.” 

“I talked to El this morning, she and Will will be by this afternoon, with permission this time.” Mike said and Steve cracked a small smile.

“Ok good.”

“Are you in a lot of pain?” Mike asked.

“Some, my leg has been in traction since I’ve been here, so it’s had no use in weeks. We need to build the muscle back up.”

“Any word on when you'll be released?” Lucas asked and Steve shook his head, he wasn't even sure what he'd do once he was released. He didn’t want to think about it, because the thought of going back to his house made him feel cold and sick all at once.

“Tell me about your nerd game.” Steve said changing the subject. Both boys protested him calling it that, but Mike started to explain their newest campaign and how they had been trying to find characters for Max and El to incorporate them into the party, only pausing once, just long enough for an orderly to help get Steve back into bed. He and Lucas continued to discuss a new campaign idea even after Steve fell asleep.

~~~

“I heard you were mobile today.” Will said as he and El made themselves comfortable.

“Well, I was in a wheelchair.” Steve said with a shrug. “I started physical therapy today.”

“That's good.” El said, though Steve wasn't sure if she actually knew what that meant.

“I think so. How much trouble are the two of you in?” Steve asked and both kids looked sheepish.

“No eggos for a week.” El said.

“Lecture, but she understood.” Will replied and Steve nodded, neither was overly harsh in his opinion.

“Mrs. Sinclair is organizing a food train for you by the way, so whenever you get out you'll have plenty of homemade food.” Will said.

“I won't let Hopper contribute.” El assured and Steve laughed at that.

“They really don't have to go through all that trouble.” Steve said but Will smiled.

“You might change your mind when you taste Mrs. Sinclair’s pot roast, it's pretty amazing.” 

“I haven’t had pot roast in a really long time.” Steve said.

“Do you cook?” El asked. She had a feeling he knew how to cook at least a few things, but she wasn’t positive that he wasn’t just living off pizza and chinese take out either.

“Well, I had to figure it out if I wanted to eat.” Steve said with a shrug. “I don’t make big elaborate meals or anything, but I can make enough different dishes that I’m not living off mac and cheese.

“Maybe once you’re better you can help me learn.” El suggested.

“I’m sure you could find a much better teacher than me. Maybe Ms. Byers-”

“I wouldn’t recommend that.” Will cut in. “I love my mom, she's amazing, but a great cook she is not. She set spaghetti on fire last night. On _fire_ Steve.”

“Ok, we’ll see.” Steve conceded. 

“You look tired.” El said tilting her head. “You’re still sleeping a lot, are you really getting better?” Steve shifted a little. He knew that she just didn’t understand, but it was still awkward for him, the doctors kept telling him he was improving, but Steve wasn’t seeing it.

“Apparently.” He said after a moment. “The doctors say I’m doing better, but my body took a lot of trauma and it’s still trying to recover. I’m still sleeping a lot because it helps me get better.”

“It doesn’t hurt when he’s asleep.” Will said, and Steve didn’t have the heart to tell him that sometimes he did still hurt while he was sleeping. It hurt enough to wake him up. He’d feel a deep ache in his leg or in his chest and it would linger until he properly woke up.

“Oh, I brought you something!” Will said suddenly as if just remembering. He reached into the bag he had and showed Steve a picture. “I, um, I drew this for you.” He was suddenly really embarrassed as Steve took it from him. 

Steve was surprised if he was honest. People didn’t really give him things, he gave people things, but it wasn’t often reciprocated and he couldn’t remember the last time someone just gave him something just because. He studied the picture for what seemed like an eternity. It was extremely well done, and Steve felt a small lump in his throat that Will had even bothered to make him something like this. Will had drawn Steve with his nail bat that he’d finally seen and it was... intimidating to say the least. 

“This is amazing.” He said finally and Will smiled at the praise. “You’re going to be one hell of a professional artist one day little Byers. Thank you.”

“That would be amazing, but I doubt that would ever happen.”

“I think it will.” Steve said simply before asking El to please hang the picture up for him. Sensing that Steve was tired, but not wanting to admit it, El launched into a recap of a soap that she had recently started to watch, and eventually Steve fell asleep.

“He seemed so surprised when you gave him the picture.” El whispered.

“It's probably been a while since anyone did something nice for him for no reason.” Will said sadly. 

“That's sad.” El murmured. “He's sad.”

Will frowned as he thought about it. He drew all the time and his mom and occasionally Jonathan praised his work, but Steve had no motive to feed his ego, and Steve had seemed genuinely touched by the gesture. Was it really so out of the ordinary for Steve to receive something? 

“Ok, that's something to mention to the others. Little things seem to mean a lot.” Will noted and El nodded in agreement. They were allowed to stay until dinner time, then both headed home, Will at least had school in the morning.


	11. Billy Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I pinky promise"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the wait guys, there's an explanation at the end. Thank you to everyone who continues to read this story!

Monday was exhausting for Steve. He had physical therapy, a shrink had been brought in to evaluate his mental state, and it was only noon. He was now sitting in a wheelchair facing his window. The view was abysmal, but it beat staring at the white walls of the hospital any longer.

“You're looking pretty pathetic there pretty boy.” Steve stiffened slightly before clumsily maneuvering his chair around so he could face Billy.

“Hargrove.” He nodded politely, but he was still wary. Something must have read on his face though, because Billy put his hands up in surrender.

“I'm not here to give you shit.” 

“Why are you here?”

“My old man got arrested last night. I couldn't deal with school today.”

“Billy-” Steve started.

“Don't . You're just the closest person who gets it Harrington.”

“I do.” Steve agreed. He wouldn't press, there was no reason to get Billy worked up. 

“You tell anyone about this, I'll kill you myself.”

“Good luck with that. I'm apparently a lot more resilient than I look.”

Billy snorted, because Steve sure didn't look resilient. He looked pale and exhausted and miserable and Billy felt a strange pang about that. He made a split second decision before walking into the room and grabbing the handles of Steve's wheelchair.

“What are you doing?” Steve asked alarmed.

“I'm kidnapping you.” Billy said as if it were obvious.

“For what purpose exactly?” The alarm must have still been there, because Billy actually did explain, albeit in a ‘you're such a dumbass’, tone of voice.

“You've been inside for weeks, you were looking forlornly out the window when I got here, I'm taking you outside.” Steve's face went through several emotions at once. 

“You better not just leave me outside.” Steve said finally and Billy’s smile was all teeth.

“I pinky swear.” Steve rolled his eyes, but let Billy push him out, and they managed to make it outside without getting caught. Billy put the brakes on the wheelchair and sat facing him. They sat silently for a while, Steve just enjoying being outside.

“Maxine thinks we should be friends.” Billy said suddenly, and Steve physically jolted in his chair at the abruptness of the statement, making himself wince.

“Because I understand your situation?” Steve asked curiously.

“Beats the hell out of me, she started harping on it before all this though. I can only imagine the disapproving looks.” Billy smirked and Steve smiled tiredly.

“Are you okay?” Steve ventured and Billy glared at him for a moment before sighing.

“Neil messed up. He hit Susan in public, he'd never hit her before to my knowledge, let alone in public. Hopper arrested him. Max demanded I tell him what was happening because she didn't want me to end up-” Billy cut off and Steve rose an eyebrow.

“Like me.” Steve finished the sentence for him.

“Yeah. My dad is a piece of shit, Susan didn't deserve that, she was trying to get him to lay off me. I told Hopper everything in hopes that he won't see the outside of a cell for a while. He'll make a nice prison wife.”

Steve made a noise that sounded strangely like a cross between an affirmation and disgust. Billy studied Steve for a moment and suddenly felt like an asshole for laying it all out like that, because while they might both have fathers who liked to talk with their fists, Steve's father apparently hated him enough to try and murder him. Steve glances up at him, and Billy knew that the reason Steve never said a damn word about what Billy did to him was because he knew. It makes Billy angry and sick all at once.

“How long did you know?” If Steve's at all surprised by the question, he doesn't show it.

“I had my suspicions since that night at the Byers place. I recognized your anger stemmed from something darker. I'm glad you spoke up. You didn't deserve what happened to you."

"Yeah, well, neither did you."

The silence that followed was a little more comfortable after that, the two having come to some sort of unspoken truce, for the time being at least. Steve adjusted his position and looked pained. Billy decided to talk to avoid asking a stupid question like if Steve was ok, when he clearly wasn't.

“Max threatened to get that damn bat if they let him out. She told me it's yours?”

“Er, yeah.”

“Why on earth do you have that?”

“It's a really long story, that I can't tell you.” Billy decided to tuck that away for another time because he was sure Steve could tell him eventually.

“Anyway, Neil's a dumbass who did that in front of a lot of witnesses, and Max is trying to convince Susan to leave him.”

“Well, he picked a real stupid time to do that didn't he. The whole towns still on high alert. Which is a nice change I guess.” 

“What's that mean?” 

“People knew what my dad was like for years, maybe all this woke them up some. I'm sure Hoppers going to do whatever he can to keep him locked up. He's a lot better than the old chief.” 

“There was another chief?”

“Yeah, Hoppers only been here five or so years now, but the chief before him just never cared about anything so long as money was thrown at him. He was there when my dad broke my arm, _in public_ , for not walking the dog.”

“That’s pretty shitty. Was he one of those assholes who thought a good beating straightened a kid out? Or did he just enjoy getting paid off?”

“I don't know, but he knew we never had a dog.” Billy was disgusted by that, but before he could respond there was frantic yelling.

“HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET OUTSIDE!” 

Steve and Billy both reacted in surprise to the high pitched yell, as Nancy stormed furiously over to them. Steve shrank back a little because he really didn't want to deal with an angry Nancy, but Billy met Nancy head on.

“Didn't figure you for one to skip school princess.” 

“What are you even doing here, and why is he outside?!”

“What are you doing here?” Billy parroted back.

“I came to see Steve, imagine my terror when he wasn't in his room!” 

“Your terror, really?”

“He could have been hurt or-”

“He's sitting in a wheelchair, literally just sitting there. How was he gonna get hurt?”

“Well, _you_ for one. He's hurt you moron, what if you had tipped him over?”

“Why would I do that?”

“Because you're a jerk!”

“He's a big boy, he could have stopped me if he didn't want to go.”

“How was he supposed to do that? He's hurt!”

“I'm sitting right here.” Steve interjected, but he was ignored.

“I'm very aware he's hurt. The whole damn town is aware!”

“Why are you even here? You hurt Steve before too, how are you any better than his father?” Nancy snarled.

“That's enough!” 

Both Billy and Nancy turned to Steve having been surprised by the strength of his voice. Nancy made to take a step forward but Steve held out his hand to stop her. Steve looked like he was going to do something stupid, like defend him, so Billy cut him off before he could.

“Fine, let's get you back inside so you can languish away.” Billy said.

“You've been using your big words today, Hargrove.” Steve replied and got another toothy smile from Billy as he took his wheelchair.

“Don't touch him!” Nancy protested. Billy proceeded to extend his index finger and began to poke Steve in the shoulder.

“Oh no, I'm touching him!” Steve swatted him away rolling his eyes.

“Just go Billy!” Nancy demanded.

“I pinky promised I wouldn't leave him outside. Are you suggesting I break a pinky promise?” Nancy looked ready to have a meltdown.

“It's fine Nancy,” Steve assured her. “I'm fine, it was nice to be outside.” Nancy's face softened a little.

“You’re supposed to be resting.” Nancy said.

“It's not like I was doing basketball drills.” Steve said growing increasingly exasperated with the whole situation. 

“He's been inside too long. He needed this.” Billy argued.

“Oh what, you suddenly care? How would you know what he needs?” 

“Ok, that's it.” Steve said irritated. “Nancy, calm down, I'm clearly fine. Billy, stop provoking her.” 

“Aw, you're just taking away all my fun.”

“Yes, I'm the stopper of all things fun, now quit.”

“Fine,” Billy huffed out. Nancy's eyes looked like they were going to bulge out of her face.

“What is happening here?”

“I'm going to push Harrington back into his room, then I'm going to leave before you stroke out.” 

Billy proceeded to push Steve back into the hospital, ignoring the reproachful look a few of the nurses sent his way. Dr. Jacobs looked exasperated but said nothing as they passed. Nancy walked behind looking completely weirded out by the whole thing.

"Ok, I'm out."

"Keep me updated." Steve requested and Billy nodded before walking past Nancy.

"I'm so confused." Nancy said and Steve shrugged. 

"He just couldn't deal with school today.” Steve said, as if that explained anything. Nancy had some thoughts about that, but kept them to herself. Instead, she scolded Steve about what he did, then looked guilty for doing it, then finally settled down and told him stories from school until she had to leave.

~~~

“I'm telling you it was weird.” Nancy said as she told the others of what happened at the hospital that evening.

“I did say Billy felt kinda bad about everything.” Max pointed out.

“It kind of makes sense why he'd go to Steve.” Mike said. “With what just went down with Mr. Hargrove and Max's Mom, Steve would probably understand better than anyone else here could, save for Max.”

“Him visiting is weird, but the problem I'm seeing is that he took him outside, which I'm not sure was safe.” Lucas pointed out.

“I'm glad he did.” Dustin spoke up. “Steve's been in that room for weeks, it sounds like it did him some good to get some time away from there.”

“I have to agree,” Will spoke up. “Billy was able to do something it sounds like Steve needed. They've had their history, but I'd like to think people can change.” 

“He could be brainwashing him.” Nancy said and Jonathan put his hand on her shoulder.

“That's a stretch.” He said mildly, and while Nancy still looked frazzled, she did nod in agreement. Max looked like she was both amused and offended all at the same time.

“What we should be focusing on is making sure Steve gets anything that helps him, and if that means taking him outside, we need to take him outside.” Dustin said.

They began murmuring amongst each other about how to make that happen, and Joyce called Hopper to fill him in on the situation and ask that he talk to the hospital about letting Steve outside, with permission this time.

~~~

"I heard you broke out." Hopper said from where he leaned against the doorframe.

"It was more of a voluntary kidnapping than an escape, but it was nice to be outside." Hopper snorted in amusement and then took a seat by Steve's bed.

“Has anyone told you about Neil Hargrove?”

“Yes, Billy told me.” 

“He involved in your kidnapping?”

“Maybe.” Steve said mildly, they both knew the answer.

“Did you know?”

“About his dad?” Hopper nodded.

“Yeah” 

“I had my suspicions, but I didn't know anything for sure.” Steve told him honestly. Hopper wanted to ask why he didn't say anything, but then remembered Steve's words about having no reason to believe he would actually care, plus he would have had no evidence to back up a claim.

“Well, he's still in lock up, Susan Mayfield has been convinced to press charges and make a bid for Billy.” 

“Good,” Steve looked relieved. “Billy can be an asshole, but he doesn't deserve to be hurt.” 

“So, are you two friends now?” Hopper asked and Steve startled.

“Uh, I don't think so? I think we've just come to a kind of truce for the time being.” 

“You might want to explain that to Nancy, because she's apparently seriously freaking out about it. Even went as far as accusing Billy of brainwashing you. According to Mike, Max is somewhere between amused and offended by that.” 

“That’s ridiculous.” Hopper shrugged.

“I think she was scared more than anything and you two don’t have the best history, so she is having a hard time rationalizing it.”

“I can understand that.” Steve agreed. Hopper rubbed the back of his neck.

“So listen kid, about what happened that day with the kids-”

“You don’t have to do this.” Steve cut in. “I’m fine, I know you wouldn’t hurt anyone.”

“Maybe so, but I shouldn’t have done that.”

“What’s done is done. But El said I was hurt worse than they said, so I’m assuming people were sugarcoating it, and I don’t blame anyone for that. But she’s smart chief, she put it together she wasn’t getting the full story.”

“To smart for her own good sometimes.” Hopper muttered. “Still, I never should have put you in a situation where you had a chance to doubt the safety of anyone.”

Steve was quiet then, he had been afraid that Hopper was going to fly off the handle, and while he did know Hopper wouldn’t hurt anyone, his experience with angry guys yelling never ended well and that had shown. It probably didn’t help that a couple days after he had a panic attack in front of the man and that didn’t exactly scream mental stability in Steve’s opinion, despite the assurances that it was normal.

“It really is ok.” Steve said finally. Hopper nodded and Steve shifted uncomfortably. 

“You ok kid?”

“Yeah, just uncomfortable.” Steve assured him. Hopper was sure that Steve was more than just uncomfortable, but it was reinforced to him every time he spoke with Steve, that Steve didn’t think his own discomfort was worth much.

“You need some pain meds?” Hopper offered and Steve shook his head.

“No, they just make me sleep and I’m trying to, I don’t know, adjust? Depending on how I do in physical therapy, they’re talking about releasing me in a few weeks.” Steve’s apprehension must have shown on his face because Hopper frowned.

“Any thought on what you’re going to do once you’re out?” Hopper questioned carefully.

“I don’t know. I mean, my house is still there, but I don’t know if I can get the bloodstains out of the floor since it’s been sitting there so long.” 

“I had Callahan and Powell lead a team, they cleaned it.” Hopper said, startled that Steve thought he'd have to clean the house himself. “They gave me the keys a few weeks ago. No one expects you to go back there Steve.”

“Where else am I supposed to go?” Steve asked tiredly. “I don’t have any family in Indiana and my only aunt lives in Paris, and she doesn’t really like me, so I doubt she’d want me around.” 

Hopper knew he had to tread carefully, Steve already saw himself as a burden, so he knew he hadn't considered that people might already be arguing about who he was going to stay with. He wanted Steve to know he had options without making it seem like they weren't giving him a choice.

“I'd be happy to have you, as would Joyce and Claudia Henderson.”

“I couldn't impose on anyone like that.” Steve said immediately. 

“Steve, it isn't imposing, we all want you with us.” Something slightly bitter crossed Steve's face, but was gone before Hopper could figure out what caused it. 

“Well, I still have some time to figure it out.” Steve said, and Hopper nodded knowing to end the conversation.

“I talked to Dr. Jacobs, so long as you give someone a heads up, they'll let us take you outside if you want.” Hopper told him and a smile lit up Steve's face. 

“Thanks.” 

“Just trying not to give anyone else a heart attack.” 

“Sorry.” But he wasn't really that sorry and Hopper knew it.

“I need to get back, I told El I'd be home for dinner.” 

“Bye chief.” Steve called after him. It wasn't until Steve thought Hopper could no longer see him did he let his true discomfort show, falling back against his pillows with a grimace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We were in a pretty bad car accident. I broke my right arm and leg. Updates will be slow going while I heal because I'm trying to type one-handed.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joyce has a chat with one of Steve’s Doctors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it’s been forever since this story was updated. I‘m truly sorry about that. It has not been abandoned, please see the end notes for an explanation as to what’s going on.

The days that followed were a mix between two different therapies and some strange visits. 

Nancy had been on edge and upset most of her visits, randomly going from eyeing the door warily like she expected Billy to waltz through the door and beat him, to looking at him like she'd committed some sort of terrible crime against him. Every attempt he made at asking what was wrong was met with a quick nothing, then more guilty looks.

Jonathan had brought in photographs he'd recently taken, asking Steve for his opinion, which had been that the Byers boys were talented. Jonathan had been pleased by the praise and started to walk him through the developing process. Jonathan chose to believe that Steve fell asleep due to being tired, and not boredom.

Will had taken him outside and insisted Steve explain basketball to him. Steve wasn't sure why, but he was willing to explain. By the end Will looked confused, but thanked Steve anyway. Steve was fairly certain Will was just screwing with him when he said he was going to practice so maybe he'd be able to make a touchdown next time they played basketball in gym.

Mike regaled him with the story of the surprise he, along with Dustin and Lucas tried to plan for El. He tried to bake her a cake. And how that had blown up spectacularly, literally, and hilariously, in their faces. His mother hadn't been nearly as amused as Steve however, and Mike spent hours cleaning it up. Apparently Dustin had needed several showers to get everything out of his hair.

Lucas and Dustin had taken him to the little pond on the property and had an argument their whole visit about who was better, Han Solo or Luke Skywalker, then both turned on Steve when he admitted he'd never seen the movie. They left planning to somehow smuggle in a tv, vcr and tape so Steve could watch the trilogy whether he wanted to or not.

Joyce and Hopper came in together and began to gently push the idea of him staying with one of them. Steve reiterated that he couldn't impose on anyone and feeling awkward when the pair kept insisting he wouldn't be imposing and that they wanted him there. Which he didn't understand why they kept saying it, no one ever genuinely wanted him around, he didn’t see why they’d be an exception to that.

Then one day, Steve had been quiet and withdrawn during the afternoon visits and it carried over into the next day. The kids had been concerned and so was Joyce. She and Will went down to visit together after dinner. Steve looked sad, sitting in his wheelchair watching it rain. Joyce hesitated, unsure of how welcomed they would be. Will marched past not at all uncertain of his welcome.

“Hey little Byers." Steve greeted as Will stood at his elbow.

"What's wrong?" Will prodded gently. 

"It's not important. " Steve dismissed waving a hand.

“It is to me.” Will insisted. It was quiet for a long time before Steve spoke. 

“I just had a few things happen, I'll be fine.” Will clearly wasn't going anywhere so Steve sighed and started talking. “My aunt had my parents cremated weeks ago and never bothered to tell me. I only found out yesterday when she called to tell me she cleaned up my mess and I should be grateful.” 

Joyce was instantly furious. How dare that woman be so callous. Steve was suffering and it was bad enough he didn't feel like he had anyone to rely on, but then to be so coldly informed of the disposal of his parents' bodies, she wondered if Steve had ever had someone in his life he didn't have to question their love for him.

"Wow, what a bitch." Will said and Joyce was about to admonish him, but Steve nodded.

"She has never liked me and never attempted to hide that." Steve said. "It's not even the fact that she told me it was my mess or had them cremated, so much as the fact that she didn't bother to tell me until now.” 

“Did you want to plan a funeral for them?” Joyce asked hesitantly.

“I don't even know. Like I said, it's not even that she did it, it's that it happened weeks ago and I'm only now finding out.”

“You should have had a say.” Will said. “The fact she didn't even consult you makes her a truly awful person.”

“Maybe I should be grateful since it's one less thing to worry about. I won't have to be around people who only pretended to care. It isn't like they had many friends.” 

“It still wasn't right that she did that, you deserved input. What else happened?” Will asked.

“What?” 

“You said things, what else?” It was quiet for a few moments.

“I fell.”

“What?” Joyce asked in alarm.

“Before I got the call, I fell during physical therapy.” 

“Are you alright?” Will asked.

“Yes, I didn't re-injure myself or anything like that.” Steve assured them. “But Dr. Graves wants to hold off on therapy until next week.” 

“I'm sure it's just a precaution.” Joyce tried to reassure.

“That's what he said, and I get his concern.”

“So what's got you upset?” Will pressed gently and Steve lowered his eyes to his hands.

“I overheard some nurses talking on my way back to my room. They were saying it would be a miracle if I ever walked unassisted again.” It was silent for a few moments, before Will began to make denials and quickly assured Steve that he would walk again.

Neither noticed when Joyce slipped from the room.

~~~

Dr. Mark Graves didn't look at all like Joyce expected. He was built more like a football player than a doctor, and had a stern face. She rapped her knuckles against the doorframe and he glanced up startled by her appearance.

“Can I help you?”

“I'm Joyce Byers, I'm here about Steve Harrington.”

“Has he fallen again?” He asked alarmed as he began to rise from his seat.

“No, he's still sitting in his chair, but I'd like to speak to you.”

“Of course, please take a seat.” He said settling back into his own chair. “There is only so much I can tell you of course, but I'll answer what I can.” 

“Thank you,” Joyce said, sliding into a seat. “Is it true he'll never walk unassisted again?”

“Excuse me?” He was clearly startled by the question.

“Will he walk unassisted again?”

“I have full confidence he'll regain full mobility, it'll just take time. As you know, his injury was severe. Is he concerned because I've halted sessions for a while? I explained to him-”

“He overheard some nurses saying it would be a miracle if he ever walked unassisted again.” Joyce cut in flatly, and she watched as his expression darkened and then turned furious. “He is understandably upset over this.” 

“I can assure you Ms. Byers, I do not give my patients false hope. If I say he will walk again, it’s because I have every reason to believe Steve will walk on his own again. I will also find out who was gossiping that misinformation and deal with them.” The displeasure in his voice was unmistakable.

“Thank you.” Joyce replied satisfied with the answer. “I have one more question for you.”

“Go ahead.”

“ Would it help if he had someone with him during his sessions?” Dr. Graves steepled his fingers and contemplated her for a few long moments.

“I will be completely honest with you, in his particular case, I'm going to have to say no. What happens during our sessions is brutal and painful. Learning to walk a second time is a whole lot harder than the first. I have been lead to believe that prior to this incident he did not have much of a support system?”

“We weren't attentive or supportive of him enough to make him think he could come to us.” Joyce agreed. “We're trying to be supportive now and help however we can.”

“And I understand that everyone feels badly, however I do feel that I should tell you that our concern is his recovery and not your guilt.”

“Excuse me?” It was Joyce’s turn to be surprised.

“This is a small hospital Ms. Byers and word gets around. Most of our doctors are well aware of the kids who come by constantly, and it has raised more than one eyebrow that Chief Hopper seems to have such a vested interest in him.”

“We just want to be there for him, to show him we can be trusted to care about him.” 

“I understand that, I truly do. But, from what I've learned during my time with him and what I've gathered from his other doctors, he's having a hard time rationalizing it.”

“He thinks we're going to abandon him when he gets better.” Joyce realized.

“I know it's hard, but try not to take it personally. He’s simply in protection mode at this point.”

“So what do you think we should do about this?”

“I’m not that kind of doctor Ms. Byers, but if I had to make a guess, I’d say keep doing what you're doing. Little things help build a foundation, and while I know it can be frustrating that he isn’t reacting to you the way you’d hoped, try to remember it’s much harder for him to go through everything than it is for you to witness it.”

Joyce sat quietly for a moment, letting his words sink it, they were asking an awful lot of Steve when he had no real reason to trust them. She wondered if they were doing more damage than good by constantly pressuring him about staying with someone. Did he constantly feel judged? It was something to consider and she nodded to Dr. Graves.

“Thank you, I appreciate your honesty.” Joyce said with a nod. 

“For what it’s worth Ms. Byers, we’re all rooting for him.” Joyce smiled, bid the doctor a farewell, and made her way back to Steve, she needed to reassure him that the nurse was wrong, and she could only hope to be present when Dr. Graves dealt with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so I ended up getting a really bad infection from one of the cuts on my hand from the accident. It knocked me out of commission for a few weeks, and has ultimately made three fingers on my right hand pretty much useless. I’ve had a really hard time dealing with it, and was in a pretty bad funk for months. I’m in a much better place now, and while typing one handed is slow going, I’m making it work and will continue with this story.


End file.
